I am interested in putting together a list of recommended books for adopting families to post on the blog. This would include children's books as well. If you have some favorites, please list them in comments and include title, author and why you recommend the book.
Thank you.
Monday, June 9, 2008
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16 comments:
I love the book "Born In Our Hearts" by Filis Casey and Marisa Catalina Casey. This is a collection for adoption stories and is a great place to start for those just looking into adoption for the first time. Paula from the Baby Journals gave it to me and I am passing it on to a co-worker of mine that is considering adoption.
A book that I really loved about Chinese adoption was "The Lost Daughters of China". Great book!
Hugs,
Jonni
We have "When you were born in Korea" and "When you were born in China". They seem very realistic and not like a fairytale. What I find difficult is finding the right book without having to change most of the words when I read it to my girls.
"Love you like Crazycakes" is really for a single mom when you read it along with some other's that I can't think of at this moment. I am excited about reading some of the ideas.
Saw your question about books. The books I am listing are fairly common but here are a few:
The Lost Daughters of China by Karen Evans--read this prior to adopting JiaLi and I am reading it again.
Wanting A Daughter, Needing A Son by Kay Ann Johnson
Are Those Kids Yours? by Cheri Register
I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla by Marguerite Wright
Oceans Apart by Mary Mustard Reed
Finding Katherine: A Spiritual Journey to Vietnam and Motherhood by Ellen Fitzenrider
China Ghosts: My Daughter's Journey to America, My Passage to Fatherhood by Jeff Gammage(have not read yet but heard it's good)
When You Were Born in China: A Memory Book for Children Adopted from China by Sara Dorow
Forever Lily: An Unexpected Mother's Journey to Adoption in China by Beth Nonte Russell
There are so many more and I will send some but wanted to send a few.
Michelle
Our SW recommended we read "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best. While it has some extreme cases (which often spook a lot of people), it will give those considering adopting an older child some of the realistic potential challenges of bringing a toddler into your home (prepare for the worst...hope for the best!).
My all time favorite that I highly recommend is: Adoption Parenting, Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections by Jean macLeod and Sheena Macrae. It's a series of essays written by adoptive parents and experts in the adoption field. I can't put this book down. You don't have to read the book straight through, just pick up the part that you are interested in at the time. The book isn't preachy and doesn't use all adoption language so it's easy to understand.
2nd book: Toddler Adoption, the Weaver's Craft that was spoken about above. I just finished it and while I was a little scared to read it, it's important to read if you're considering adopting a toddler age child.
One more I recommend: Becoming a Family by Lark Eshleman, PhD.
This book speaks about attachment of adopted children and how to promote healthy attachments.
2 Children's books that are at the top of my list are:
Motherbridge of Love which was written anonymously. It's a touching poem that talks about the two kinds of love that shape an adopted child's life.
Three Names of Me by Mary Cummings. The book beautifully speaks of a little girl adopted from China and the 3 names given to her in her life. The first by her birth mother, her second name by the orphanage, and the third by her mother and father who came to adopt her. The 3 names though completely different are all a part of who she is and will be.
You got some really great suggestions already!! I echo many of them & here are some I noticed were not yet mentioned:
1. Attaching in Adoption (Deborah Gray) a MUST have for any family planning to adopt or in the process of adoption.
2. Talking with Young Children About Adoption (Mary Watkins & Susan Fisher)...wonderful perspective of adopted children & the questions they have & the best way to approach answering them. EXCELLENT!
3. Raising the Spirited Child (Mary Sheedy Kurcinka)...not specific to adoption, but many adopted children can be "spirited" - wonderful "how to" handle spirited children. Excellent!
4. Beyond Good Intentions (Cheri Register)...discusses some of the pitfalls that adoptive parents may fall into while bringing up children of different races. Excellent!
5. A Love Like No Other - Stories from Adoptive Parents (ed. Pamela Kruger & Jill Smolowe)...great read during the "wait"...gives excellent insight on what various stages of the adoption process are like. Great one to read during the wait.
6. Outsiders Within - Writing on Transracial Adoption (ed. Jane Jeung Trenka, Julia Chinyere Oparah, Sun Yung Shin))...haven't finished this yet, but it's written from the perspective of adults who have been adopted transracially...so far it's fabulous!
7. Yell-Oh Girls! (ed. Vickie Nam)...essays written by Asian American girls covering topics such as identity & growing up Asian in America. A must have for any family who has adopted from an Asian country or for Asian American families in general. Loved this book!! Gave me a glimpse as to what to expect when my daughter is a teen.
Hope that helps!! I may have some recommendations for children's books too, but I won't be able to get into my daughter's room until morning ;)
Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray and if you have time to read two books, read it a second time. It's the best.
The Red Blanket is a beautiful story written by Eliza Thomas. It's about a woman who adopts a baby girl from China, and buys her a special blanket that she treasures for years.
My must reads:
Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray
Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best
The Waiting Child by Cindy Champnella
Screamfree Parenting by Hal Runkel
The first one I'd recommend is Holding Time by Martha Welch. It's controversial but I've used it with great success. The next would be Toddler Adoption, A Weaver's Craft.
To be honest, I haven't read many books on adoption. I should have....I wish I had. I have a hard time reading those type of books. That's why I'm considering a fictional book that focuses on attachment. I love your new site. It's really informative and I think it's great to have so many links in one place!
Lynn
All of these suggestions are wonderful and I'd recommend all of them, too (yes, I own and have read most of them).
Another beautiful book (more for children) is called "I Don't have Your Eyes" by Carrie A. Kitze.
"Fields of the Fatherless" by Tom Davis is another amazing read about the history and need for adoption.
"Adoption Nation" by Adam Pertman is another one (a little dry at times, but good info on the socialogical aspects of adoption in the US
Cindy Champnella's book "The Waiting Child: How one orphan saved the life of another" is a tear-jerker, but so important for families considering an older or SN child.
Most of these books are also available through the local library system, but I'd recommend owning
"Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections"
and many of the children's books listed above.
Also...Rosie's Family: An adoption Story by Lori Rosove is a good book to read to your children. Instead of pictures of children it is about a dog family having bio children and adopting a different dog into their family. Pretty cute and the focus is not on a particular race so it is good for any country you are adopting from.
This book is one I have wanted to get to you Kimberley. It is an ABSOLUTE MUST for toddler and older children who have behavior and or attachment issues... It truly was a gift from God with my Nicholas.
http://www.amazon.com/Holding-Time-Martha-G-Welch/dp/0671688782
Daleea
Come visit my blog. I have a book that I just published on Chinese adoptive parenting. I think it will be a useful tool for your book list. I intend on writing one for general international adoptions very soon.
Beckett Gray
Author - "The Dragon Tribe"
http://tinyurl.com/ykmd39t
Blog - The Dragon Sisterhood
http://www.dragonsisterhood.blogspot.com
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